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A Look at the Performer in Me March 1, 2011

Posted by osujazzman in Uncategorized.
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When I perform this jazz music, I look to get through everything that’s brought be down over a period of time. I’m not sure why this works so well for me, but it’s because that I can feel nothing in life to be motivated to over time.

Why does jazz seem to be the medium of the tortured artist? You have many artists who have died due to addiction to many things, be it drugs, sex, or other things, but the question is what is my addiction?

Perhaps my addiction is to general malaise, the fear of almost succeeding at the end of something is really what destroys our search of pure art. But maybe it is in art which we find the flaws and imperfections in one’s self. And this no greater than a look at jazz. Screw up a chord everyone just laughs and moves on throw in a wrong note, hey man that’s just jazz in action.

It’s also a terrible way to live, going through it, with a fear of doing something right and more or less taking the laid back approach of the medium and just rolling with the punches. It is an inherent flaw in my personality, my way of living and it’s something I have to change, like a terrible chord going to a simpler one to work around.

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